【N.J】 Dear Abby: Husband of 40 years speaks ‘in glowing terms’ of ‘the girls he knew’ earlier than his spouse – New Jersey News

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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married for 40 years, and we’ve had our ups and downs. My drawback is, he ceaselessly talks in regards to the women he knew earlier than me. He describes all of them in glowing phrases — beautiful, excellent physique, lovely hair, well-endowed and on and on. It makes me really feel self-conscious and insufficient.

Add to this he’s short-tempered with me. He always finds fault with the way in which I do issues and speaks to me harshly. After I advised him the way it made me really feel, his reply was that I used to be “sick in the head.” He gained’t hear or acknowledge that he has a component in the issue. The place do I’m going from right here? — FEELING LESS THAN

DEAR FEELING LESS: I’m glad you requested. The place you go from right here is to the workplace of a licensed psychotherapist that will help you determine why you’ve got tolerated being handled this fashion for 40 years and provide the instruments to regain your battered vanity.

Your short-tempered husband isn’t any prize. Whether or not his long-ago girlfriends might have competed for Miss Universe is irrelevant. He by some means wound up with “flawed” little ol’ you. You’re no extra “sick in the head” than I’m! Wrap your thoughts round that truth and acknowledge you’re married to a verbal abuser with an overactive fantasy life, and the higher off you may be.


DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized my good friend “Aaron” since first grade. Our relationship hasn’t been the identical since COVID broke out. He rarely connects with me until it’s on social media. He refuses to get along with anybody or depart his home.

Issues haven’t been straightforward for him as a result of he lives alone. He used to dwell together with his brother, however since his brother’s dying just a few years in the past, Aaron hasn’t been the identical. I’m upset with him as a result of as an alternative of telling me, he advised my finest good friend about his brother’s dying. Once we mentioned attempting to get collectively once more, he initially mentioned he wished to attend till the stay-at-home order was lifted. When that lastly occurred, he introduced he didn’t need to get collectively till COVID had died down and it was thought of protected.

Abby, I really feel damage and betrayed. I perceive Aaron’s issues about COVID and the dangers concerned, however I don’t like being lied to. I really feel he deceived me by telling me one factor however actually that means one other. I believe he ought to have been upfront and trustworthy with me from the beginning.

I worth our friendship, so I’m not keen to throw it away simply but. Aaron is not speaking to me, and our relationship is ruined. Am I flawed to really feel this fashion? I’m uncertain about what steps to take subsequent. — HURT GUY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HURT GUY: You didn’t point out whether or not Aaron is socializing once more with others. It’s doable that since his brother’s passing he has realized how fragile and unpredictable life might be, and is taking each precaution. I believe it will be more healthy for you when you cease obsessing about him and start forming different friendships. If Aaron is not speaking to you, the “steps” it’s best to take are in the other way.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


For the whole lot it’s essential to find out about marriage ceremony planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Ship your title and mailing handle, plus verify or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Marriage ceremony Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Delivery and dealing with are included within the worth.)


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