【N.J】 Dear Annie: Hazed teen ought to search counseling – New Jersey News


#Dear #Annie #Hazed #teen #search #counseling

Dear Annie: My grandson was the sufferer of hazing incidents within the locker room at his personal college. It went on for greater than a month. Somebody made movies of elements of it, and all the college noticed the movies.

The perpetrator was requested to withdraw from his college (not expelled). The detective who investigated advised my daughter that he had by no means handled a college so tight-lipped about such an incident. The athletic director apologized to my grandson, however not the coach or the college principal.

The college chaplain talked to my grandson in a brief one-on-one session. Nobody talked to the group members who witnessed it or to their mother and father.

I’m questioning what the protocol could be for one thing like this in public faculties. This occurred over a yr in the past, and just lately my grandson stated he nonetheless thinks about it on daily basis. Do you suppose we should always pursue counseling for him? He’s 15 and a sophomore. He nonetheless wrestles and doesn’t wish to stop. — Involved Grandma

DEAR CONCERNED: The general public college protocols differ from state to state, however this personal college will get an F for dealing with a tough state of affairs. It was cowardly for the coach and principal to not discuss to your son about it.

Hazing is rarely one thing to be taken flippantly and has sadly resulted in dying in some instances. It has been confirmed that it doesn’t construct a group up; the truth is, it does the alternative by creating an environment of worry and disrespectful conduct. An ideal article comes from https://www.ncaa.org/sports activities/2016/9/26/addressing-student-athlete-hazing.aspx, which addresses extra school hazing however has some nice knowledge factors.

So far as nobody talking with the group that witnessed the hazing or the opposite mother and father, that’s stunning. It might be an incredible studying lesson for all concerned — to not punish the child who hazed however to make use of a horrible state of affairs as a possibility to coach the children concerning the risks of hazing. Good on your grandson that he nonetheless desires to wrestle and he has resilience.

It’s troubling that he thinks about it on daily basis. He might be affected by PTSD after going by way of a traumatic occasion. In search of the assistance of a educated counselor may definitely profit him to course of what occurred. I might additionally say that the boy who did the hazing must see a counselor as effectively. Damage folks damage folks, and he clearly has some violent points to work by way of.

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DEAR ANNIE: I’ve just lately learn letters in your column from grieving pet homeowners. Dropping a pet is nearly like dropping a member of the family. I wrote a brief poem concerning the lack of my 14-year-old cat that I hope you’ll share with grieving readers who can also have these emotions.

“At a Loss” by Peggy Ankerman

My kitty crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

I’ve his image on my fridge.

No extra dust upon his paws

No devastation from his claws

My eyes and nostril shall run no extra,

and no extra furballs on the ground.

The litter field is thrown away.

There are not any cat meals payments to pay.

Why do I grieve at kitty’s finish?

The dear cat was my finest pal.

DEAR KITTY BEST FRIEND: Thanks for sharing your touching poem. It’s lovely, and your kitty seems like an incredible cat who was a present to you and your loved ones.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — that includes favourite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is offered as a paperback and book. Go to for extra data.

Ship your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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